How to Control Anger

All of us get angry sometimes, but we have different ways of expressing this emotion. Some become quiet and try to calm themselves down. Others choose to blabber about why they’re upset. But many people turn into raging monsters when they get angry, provoked or unprovoked. 

It’s human nature to get angry. In fact, anger is at times a healthy human emotion. It’s a serious problem, however, when it becomes uncontrollable and destructive. It can wreck your personal relationships and ruin the quality of your life. So it’s important that you know how to control your anger. Here are some helpful tips:

Look for the signs that you’re angry

You should know when you’re angry. Look for signs. Is your voice rising and trembling? Are your neck tightening, hand shaking, jaw tightening, and face getting hot? Are you palpitating? Do you want to walk out? Knowing the signs that you’re angry is one of the first steps of controlling anger.

Cool down

Don’t do something that could fuel your anger. Cool down. If you’re getting upset, don’t dwell on the person or thing that made you angry. Go out, take a walk, and breathe fresh air. Call a friend, take a cold bath, listen to soothing music, or go to a park and unwind.

Do something physically exerting to cool you down. Instead of attacking a person or punching a wall, mow your yard or go run around your house. Go to the gym, do stretching exercises, shoot some hoops, or swim. All of these can give you an outlet for your raging emotions. As a bonus, doing some physical activities is good for fitness.

Think of the consequences

Picture all the costs if you let your anger consume you. Of course, you don’t want to emotionally or physically hurt your loved ones. Engage your brain, not your fist or tongue when you’re angry. For example: "If I don’t control my anger, I’ll be embarrassed and feel bad. I’ll humiliate not only the other person, but also myself in front of other people. If I lose control, the other person will be hurt. I don’t want that to happen."

Use "I" statements

Using "I" statements is an effective way to control your anger. Don’t use "you" statements. Say: "I am very upset because I waited for an hour." Don’t say "You were late." Using "I" statements helps because you don’t upset the other person. When in confrontation, don’t make the other person angry.

Reflect on what made you angry

Find a quiet spot and ask yourself what made you really angry. Why are you angry? Is it worth to get angry? Are you just blowing things out of proportion? What do you want exactly? Do you need to be angry in the first place?