When Your Parents Fight

You might have seen your parents fight before. They might argue about important things such as finances, careers, or other major family decisions. Your parents might even disagree with each other about small things that do not seem important such as what’s for dinner. Fighting is a part of married life, so it is normal for them to disagree with each other from time to time.

When fighting goes out of control

Sometimes, parents are levelheaded when they argue. But sometimes, all hell brakes loose when they disagree. There is a lot of name calling, screaming, cursing, and many harsh things said. Fights can get extreme and may include shoving and pushing, hitting, or throwing things. Even if one of them is not physically injured, a fight has gone ugly when one tries to control the other by threatens to: injure himself/herself, commit suicide, leave his/her spouse, and report his/her spouse to welfare.

Fights that go too far are never okay. Children are often left wondering if their parents do not love each other anymore. It can be very upsetting if your parents are fighting because of you or something that you have done. Many children think it is their fault their parents fight. Actually, their disagreements are never your fault.

What does the fighting mean?

It can be easy for you to make conclusions when you see or hear your parents fight. You might think that your family is breaking down, but arguments are almost always just a way to release the steam when your parents have a very upsetting day, if they are under a lot of pressure, of if they are not feeling well.

These are the same reasons you argue with your parents. Like you, your parents also say or do things that they do not really mean. So do not always assume that you will lose a parent, if they are having a heated argument.

What should you do?

If you find yourself having sleepless nights or if your grades are suffering because of your parents’ fighting, you need to tell them that their behavior really bothers you. Many parents do not even realize how upset they children are until the children tell them how their fighting affects them.

If the fighting goes out of control and become more often, you have to inform someone what is going on. You can approach relatives, your school counselor or teacher, or any trusted adult. An intervention will help the parents repair any damage that their fights have caused.